Post by unanimous on Jun 8, 2010 12:33:10 GMT 3
i always talk about this coz it first started with my work, and later realized it sort of applies to life in general somewhat. it is said and i believe that ears are the the portals of learning, motionless, open and alert at all times, even in sleep, is the first one to warn us of dangers. it is a funnel of knowledge with turns and whorls so that words could be sifted, reasons purified, and travels a distance to the brain so that there would be time to winnow truth from deceit...and another distance from the tongue, for time delay... this i believe i often forget and is forever the cause of foot-in-mouth disease. things come spontaneously to the ears...thus is the difference between seeing and hearing. the eyes seeks out things if and when they want, whereas things spontaneously come to the ears unless blocked with wax. so it is good to recognize how one hears. i think there are different types. One type of listening is to gather information. another to get affirmation. another to discern. The first one is just to accumulate information. The second one is to just find another one who believe the same way you do so you can confirm to yourself that you are right and therefore has no need to learn some more. The third one helps you put things in context, opens you to possibilities and sort it out if it works for you or not and file the info for later use maybe. ears dont have a tongue immediately attached to each one of them, and i think there's a reason to that more than for aesthetics. it is said that our tongue is twice enclosed and our ears twice as open, so that we can hear twice as we speak...this as i said i rarely apply especially when im talking to my husband of course....and for this he employs the fourth way of hearing ....this i believe my husband summons for safety reasons: to pretend to hear...for there are so much i say that are devoid of reason, even i annoy myself. judging from my ability to still spout things, i suppose it works.
i was listening to some friends these past days about personal conflicts and mature stuff like that (it makes me feel serious and important!hah!). it struck me how things are much more different now when you talk to your female friends when you're in your 30s compared to when you were for example...13 yrs old. yes, these differences still strike me coz i just realized that most of my friends even in various stages of my life, a majority of them we still talk like 13 year olds...i dont think that's particularly bad though...it just limits my circle of friends maybe and tend to drive some away while giving me an evil eye. I like talking and listening to friends for hours regardless of topic as long as it is not self congratulatory and not by me, or particularly in mean spirit about others. my endurance for such can be a bit embarrassing. i.e. recently i met up with a friend for breakfast, my husband dropped me off there on his way to work....and i only left when my husband picked me up after his work...it was definitely not productive esp for my friend, but it was fun. my throat hurt, yes, but it is time well spent just the same. Anyways, when i was 13 and spent hours talking, listening to friends, there was this element of wonder both from me and my friends, needing to find the cause, quest to understand as if it's the most important thing in our lives.....even if it was just about 21 jumpstreet, how to interpret your crush's look at you, how to stalk without appearing to require a restraining order... important things like when he looked at you by chance, did you have a smear on your face? were your bangs teased just right? did your skirt get stuck in your underpants again after you left the toilet? or was he really obsessed with you? these are life defining big deal stuff when you're 13 and you psycho analyze them to death and you actually seek advice from your bff. these are fun, tortous stuff.
fast forward to adult life. issues are different. this time the relationships are no longer imagined, definition of family is more complex, money worries, self doubt, challenging ones own belief. but by this time you trust that your friends already know what they are doing, have thought out the consequences of their action but in the spirit of temporary sanity is on denial to further imagine it down the road. friends by this time have already formed their beliefs, are living them out, have accumulated experience, and by now more or less have defined themselves or at least have an idea how far they can toe the line and deal with the consequences. by this time, you hopefully can listen in the third kind. you understand by now that people are different, have different beliefs, have different views, but deep down no matter the differences, people are decent...just have different coping devices, lashes out on inanimate objects, hurls stuff, etc. they need someone to listen not to offer judgment (which i realize is what i required from my mom when i was 13, and she didnt fail). and if what they believe does not coincide with yours, it is not your place to change them. one can only defend what he believes in but never one's right to impose them on someone else. even if they are your friend. and in difficult times, you can only listen, help if you can, but it is never ones place to judge. there is not much more required and you understand your obligation or lack thereof. so why am i writing about this now? because i realized and need a reminder that..........im perfect!
MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The other day, a song's lyrics caught me and made me think of my departed mom. it went on like this:
"i never knew i could hurt like this, and every day life goes on like:
i wish i could talk to you for a while, i wish i could find a way not to cry as time goes by.....i assume that you've reached a better place, still i'd give the world to see your face...."
so basically i was crying and missing my mom. she was a good listener, never judged my shenanigans, or even if she did, she mostly kept it to herself...or worried my father sick about it maybe. so i was crying staring at youtube playing the song....it was by mariah carey....i was crying and all through the song, noticed soft porny pics of mariah carey in various state of undress is flashing with the dramatic lyrics.....it was conflicting...and seemed ridiculous to be crying, missing, thinking of my mom juxtaposed to mariah's cleavage, legs and sausage dresses. but it reminded me of long talks with my mom just the same, my friends...always starts out dramatic but somehow along the way gets ridiculous and funny. i miss my mom.
i was listening to some friends these past days about personal conflicts and mature stuff like that (it makes me feel serious and important!hah!). it struck me how things are much more different now when you talk to your female friends when you're in your 30s compared to when you were for example...13 yrs old. yes, these differences still strike me coz i just realized that most of my friends even in various stages of my life, a majority of them we still talk like 13 year olds...i dont think that's particularly bad though...it just limits my circle of friends maybe and tend to drive some away while giving me an evil eye. I like talking and listening to friends for hours regardless of topic as long as it is not self congratulatory and not by me, or particularly in mean spirit about others. my endurance for such can be a bit embarrassing. i.e. recently i met up with a friend for breakfast, my husband dropped me off there on his way to work....and i only left when my husband picked me up after his work...it was definitely not productive esp for my friend, but it was fun. my throat hurt, yes, but it is time well spent just the same. Anyways, when i was 13 and spent hours talking, listening to friends, there was this element of wonder both from me and my friends, needing to find the cause, quest to understand as if it's the most important thing in our lives.....even if it was just about 21 jumpstreet, how to interpret your crush's look at you, how to stalk without appearing to require a restraining order... important things like when he looked at you by chance, did you have a smear on your face? were your bangs teased just right? did your skirt get stuck in your underpants again after you left the toilet? or was he really obsessed with you? these are life defining big deal stuff when you're 13 and you psycho analyze them to death and you actually seek advice from your bff. these are fun, tortous stuff.
fast forward to adult life. issues are different. this time the relationships are no longer imagined, definition of family is more complex, money worries, self doubt, challenging ones own belief. but by this time you trust that your friends already know what they are doing, have thought out the consequences of their action but in the spirit of temporary sanity is on denial to further imagine it down the road. friends by this time have already formed their beliefs, are living them out, have accumulated experience, and by now more or less have defined themselves or at least have an idea how far they can toe the line and deal with the consequences. by this time, you hopefully can listen in the third kind. you understand by now that people are different, have different beliefs, have different views, but deep down no matter the differences, people are decent...just have different coping devices, lashes out on inanimate objects, hurls stuff, etc. they need someone to listen not to offer judgment (which i realize is what i required from my mom when i was 13, and she didnt fail). and if what they believe does not coincide with yours, it is not your place to change them. one can only defend what he believes in but never one's right to impose them on someone else. even if they are your friend. and in difficult times, you can only listen, help if you can, but it is never ones place to judge. there is not much more required and you understand your obligation or lack thereof. so why am i writing about this now? because i realized and need a reminder that..........im perfect!
MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The other day, a song's lyrics caught me and made me think of my departed mom. it went on like this:
"i never knew i could hurt like this, and every day life goes on like:
i wish i could talk to you for a while, i wish i could find a way not to cry as time goes by.....i assume that you've reached a better place, still i'd give the world to see your face...."
so basically i was crying and missing my mom. she was a good listener, never judged my shenanigans, or even if she did, she mostly kept it to herself...or worried my father sick about it maybe. so i was crying staring at youtube playing the song....it was by mariah carey....i was crying and all through the song, noticed soft porny pics of mariah carey in various state of undress is flashing with the dramatic lyrics.....it was conflicting...and seemed ridiculous to be crying, missing, thinking of my mom juxtaposed to mariah's cleavage, legs and sausage dresses. but it reminded me of long talks with my mom just the same, my friends...always starts out dramatic but somehow along the way gets ridiculous and funny. i miss my mom.